I used to like our conversations...

But those times are long gone. Funny how what meant the world to you is now so unrecognizable that you have to glance at a nametag to tell who it is exactly.

She said it cost $2.84. I handed her the money with one hand, holding on to my food with the other, and just as she extended her hand, I looked at her face and shuttered. Not that she was an ugly thing to behold. Quite the contrary, she was beautiful. She reminded me of a girl I once knew, who at some point in time, meant the world to me. Someone who taught me so much, and occupied my mind at all waking hours of the day.

We used to sit together, talking about anything that came to mind. I remember the first time we ever went out, after dinner we sat on the rocks, along the shore, while the water washed in and sprinkled us with the mist of the lake. There we were, just the two of us, with the world to our back and an ocean of possibilities in front of us. We sat there for a long while, just in the company of each other, and to this day I can't think of another person who was able to capture my attention and focus the way she did.

I remember asking her once if she was a forgiving person. She looked at me with a bewildered face. I wish I had just asked for her forgiveness then and there instead of letting all the pain that came about later hurt her. We didn't speak much after that.

I see her around from time to time. When I see her from far away, I still stop dead in my tracks. I don't always recognize her though, like today. I thought it was her I was dealing with, at the register. Maybe it was the little hat, or the voice, or the beautiful face. But either way, it comes down to the fact that she used to mean so much, and now I have to read a name tag to make sure it's her.

Funny how that works. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, but it's more for me than for you. I guess the next time I walk through there, I'll look towards the one I mistook for her, and remember. Because that's all I can do these days, since she's long gone. Maybe next time I won't hurt the one I care about. Then I wouldn't lose the clear memory of her face in my head because she'll have been there all along.