Exchange rates change every single day...

It would seem that the rate of everything else changes daily too. At least in the way that one tries to balance the scale. These are some fucked up measures. At least that is if you ask me. Because nothing balances out. But then again, you didn't ask.

People don't really ask much these days. I suppose the smile and the "Doin' just fine" is usually sufficient. Most of the time I like that. It's a give and take though. People leave you alone like you want, but then they assume shit about you that just isn't true. There are 6+ billion people in the world; not all of us are the same or conform to human behavior. Call me savage then, because maybe I am.

The sun is shining right now, but it's nearly freezing. I think I like the contradiction.

My mom is a wise lady. She told me once that los ninos y los borrachos dicen la verdad, roughly meaning that children and drunks tell the truth. I suppose that the romans said the same thing. En vino veritas. Ain't that the truth. Because in the last few months of our drunken adventures, people have been forthcoming with me and told me exactly what they think of me.

I'm arrogant. I'm cocky. I'm a jerk. I'm mean. I'm rude.

But if they could see the real me, they might understand that there are two sides to every story. The might see that everything has it's inverse. But nobody bothers to look that closely. Or maybe I'm too closed off. Maybe I don't let them look that deep. My dad is also a wise person, and he taught me that emotion is a weakness. Why show other people why you're distraught when they have their own issues to deal with and won't give a damn about your own? There's no point.

I know why I do what I do. I know exactly why I am the way I am. I've concerned myself so much with figuring out who I am and why I do what I do that I think I've lost the power to change any of it. Those who can do, and those who can't...well, we just sit here idle.

I'm pretty sure that people are mad at me right now. To tell you the truth, I'm not mad. Even if I was, I let it all go real quick. Anger serves no purpose if you're not trying to salvage something or save yourself. I think I might have let myself go a long time ago. All you see in front of you is the shell of the boy you used to know.

The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice