"Nothing we encounter in this life is enough..."

...nothing completely satisfies us. It only lasts for a few moments, and then it's gone. Like this kiss."

That's a rough translation, mind you. But no other words could express what I've realized in the last hour. Maybe it's all because of the situations at hand. Maybe it's because I'm still a little sleepy. Or maybe because it's the truth. The truth. Nobody can tell you what the truth is except for yourself, because everyone in the world has their own personal truth that they live by. They say that nothing lasts forever. That all good things must come to an end. I'd like to think though that maybe you can remember some of the better parts of your life and times. Funny though, because I have a horrible memory.

I won't trivialize this with any sort of countdown or naming names. Just know that to me, the world is something so beautiful that some people, like me, will never be able to look at it without being blinded by its brilliance. That to some of us, the world and everyone in it aren't meant to understand our points of view, our experiences and our thought process. Maybe it's because I don't tell anyone what I'm truly thinking. I've been called closed off. I like to think I can keep a secret. I like to think that to some extent, while I surround myself with friends and laughter, that if they all disappeared one day, I'd make it on my own. I know that they won't all vanish on me, but I just might vanish on them.

My mom told me some stuff yesterday that happened over a year ago that made me choke up and nearly swallow my tongue, with tears on the edge of my eyelids. I never knew you were saying goodbye. I never understood what was going on in your life at that time. And I feel as though I failed you, but I was fortunate enough that someone else saved you. They say we're close. I don't feel like I deserve my title, even if it's a birthright, because nobody should let someone down like that. For all the times we fought and kicked and screamed at each other as little kids, know that I'm always here for you.

That's one on the list. Check. The other would be the world I've forged for myself, which at the moment is at a crossroads, and after reading some stuff that people wrote months ago, I realize that it's time to move on. That it's time to let go...we'll see if I can manage. There's so much to say, but for some reason it feels like I'm back in highschool all over again. And while this may be the end of sharing my thoughts for the time being, remember what I said earlier, and that is that I never tell people what I'm truly thinking. There's so much more to say...

Let Her Be - Hootie And The Blowfish