Many roads left to travel, that's my diagnosis of the situation...

One of my favorite movies in the world is "What Dreams May Come," because of how it displays the thoughts of one man in regards to that which he holds most dearly. I said I'd fight before I lost a family member, and now it would seem that they are out of danger. We are there to help them through, and nothing will take them away again. Winner: My family and myself.

But this whole ordeal got me thinking about what fights to pick. Do you fight to keep what you have, to get back what you already had, or what you want to have? It's a tricky question, and I think that is because the level to which you struggle for all three of those things varies greatly. I was on the phone with Michelle a little while ago and I realized that some things are already gone, already lost, and there seemingly isn't any way to get them back. I'm fighting a title bout here and I'm not training 1/3 of the time. It's a hard fight, with tough numbers to measure up to. I don't know if I can. More importantly, I don't know if I should. Only time will tell how this all plays out.

Recently I wrote a post about fighting for what I want. I struggled with my family and we all came out on top. But this fight, this recently realized struggle, it's different. What I mean is, I shouldn't pick stupid fights. I shouldn't pick things that are futile. Is this new bout a lost cause? I don't know.

On to other business...I wish people would stop lying to themselves. It gets me angry. Don't come to me for help when you know you're not going to listen to the advice I have to offer you. If you want a shoulder to cry on, then I'll be that for you. If you want advice, then I'll give it to you. But don't ask for advice and then do the exact opposite, only to come back to me a little while later and cry some more. That's not how I operate. Shit. It's frustrating. You know what else is frustrating? Being accused of something that I didn't do, and as a result, people being unjustifiably mad with me when in reality I've committed no injustice to them. I think that one boils down to jealousy on their part.

Sorry, that last part there was my rant for the time being. Everything has gotten better, especially after last weekend. I needed help, and found it in the most unlikely of places, here with a roommate. She made me feel alive again, like the world had hope in it and was ready for the taking, provided I just took some action myself.

My world has stopped spinning. I just need to figure out which road I want to take in regards to a few people, and then I'll be set. There's nothing I can't handle. Life is good and this isn't depressing. It's my declaration of sincere joy and being content with this life I live. The only thing I can think of that would make it better is if I had another person to share my joy with besides my friends and family. But that's yet another fight, for another day. Well, more like a search I have yet to start.

I hope everyone else out there is feeling as good as I do right now. If not, I'll help in any way I can, but don't expect me to come find you.