Red Hot...

I've realized that I've got anger issues. I'm turning into what my genes have forecasted. I hate it. And that's the irony.

Goodbyes can be informal.

It's been a while, that's for sure. I can feel both my fists clenching, and the tears welling up. It's a scary feeling, this loss of control. That's the problem, this loss of control. The only way I can see of overcoming this problem is planning; I was never any good at it though.

I'll figure it all out. I always have, and I always will. I do have an itinerary. I just haven't figured out when the return flight is. ETA? That's still to be determined. Just pray I can keep my smile on long enough...until I'm gone. I envy you, and your opportunities.

When I take off my glasses, I can't see anything clearly beyond a few inches from my face. I don't think there's a prescription for my actions, because I've tried and tried, yet I can't seem to see the near future with any degree of certainty or clarity.

Remember what I said: goodbyes can be informal. But they also aren't a requisite. Here's to tonight, whatever it may bring. Hopefully a peaceful night of sleep, if not some hilarity. Because tomorrow might not ever get here, or it might have any ugly face you never imagined and don't recognize.

John Legend - I Can Change