Music scales and the everlasting sounds of failure...

There are music notes being played outside. I've lived here for almost a year and had never realized where that music was always coming from. Apparently the house next to my apartments is a music studio. I saw people leaving it today with a bunch of instruments, and shortly there after I saw different people go in with more of the same and then heard music once again.

It reminds me of the fact that I never learned how to play an instrument. I got really angry the other day when my aunt asked me, "How come you never learned to play? Your brother plays the saxophone. Why not you?" and my mom replied, "Oh, he never said he wanted to." I always wanted to learn the trumpet or trombone but they were like, "It's costly to rent, you probably won't play for very long before you quit, and you already do Kung-fu." Yeah, so 12 years later that's turned into the notion that I never wanted to in their eyes.

On a side note, how cool would that be if I played the trumpet? My name is Gabriel, for Christ's sake. I would just walk around and be like, "If you don't want me to sound my trumpet and make some apocalyptic shit go down, you best do what I tell you to."

Sometimes I think my parents don't really know me anymore. I guess that's my fault. You think you know someone and then BAM! Like a balloon popping right by your ear, shit blows up and you never expected it. They're all different. Things are different. And you slowly realize that you life has started to pass you by. How sad.

To some degree, we all let ourselves die a little bit each day. We give away time, something you can never get more of, so that we can have money and sustain ourselves in this world. If I could, I'd by some property out in the middle of nowhere, build a cabin and live out my days in the wilderness. Not like Grizzly Adams though. I'm fairly certain he was into beastiality.

Anyways, it's nice that the apartment next to us is vacant because that way I can leave my window open all the time and enjoy the fresh air, coupled with the sounds of classical music streaming through the neighborhood right to this spot where I'm writing to you.

When things are hectic like now, I like to just remember one thing: "It can't rain all the time. The stars won't cry forever. And since the night is young, I won't feel pain forever." Of course, that thought right there leads me to remember another, which is that life is good; this isn't depressing. You should remember that, especially now, because I don't think we'll ever remind each other of that fact again. At least I don't think so. I could be wrong. Go fig.

Smile, because you've probably got your health and youth, which is more than most people can say. You're probably my friend if you're reading this, so just know that the next time I see you all, I'll remember to smile back.