Work it...

Shake what your mama gave you. That's what they tell people on the dance floor. For me, I'm looking in the mirror and telling myself to use the intelligence I've got to work through this ordeal before it's too late.

T-minus 5 days until I have to be in class and I hate that thought. I wish I was already graduating so bad. It'd be nice to not have to worry about anything besides work, because that I can handle. But poverty and education do not go hand in hand.

I can't figure out how to deal with this. Maybe I just don't want to think about it anymore. Maybe I'm an alcoholic. I just want to go to the store right now, buy a bottle of tequila, and not worry about this for a long time or ever again for that matter. Why can't things be easier for those who wish to do good in this world? Why is it so easy to fall off the path that leads to an ideal future? They say odds are if something can go wrong, it probably will. I figure because the universe looks at things objectively, while our idea of the "right outcome" is subjective and is merely one possibility of many outcomes. Things go wrong simply because we've narrowed down what we think is right so there's more wrong choices, options and possibilities.

I can live with a few other options, but those around me can't. I know this, even though certain people claim otherwise. Life is funny like that.

I'm trying to do the right thing, but it's hard. The world is not conspiring against me or anything. That's not what I'm saying here. What I'm saying is that I'm trying to do my best but the race started like an hour ago and I just woke up in bed with a cramp in my leg and am still hoping to finish on time. Life can be bitch sometimes.

Scott once said the world wasn't made for guys like him. I don't think this world was made specifically for any of us. So the question arises: do we conform to the way the world is made, or do we take it into our own hands and force it to work the way we want it to? That I cannot answer. I'll know in retrospect though, I can tell you that for sure. Give me a year and I'll have all the answers for you. In the meantime though, I'm going to have to walk this path blind, making it all up as I go along.