My mom and I sat in my car yesterday just talking like family should. But we talked about the things that nobody in a family should put the other members through. I can't say for sure if things will get better, but I know we're in for a hard fight in the coming weeks.

Reason. Reason. Reason. It's what my father taught all of us to live by, to be proud of, and to use at every opportunity. He doesn't live by that idea anymore. He might say that a poor man doesn't have the luxury to sit around and think the day away, but that's not what we're asking of him. My family and I want him to stop hurting himself and in turn hurting us, simply by putting the bottle down and dealing with his problems.

My family isn't the most successful or distinguished and I know that shouldn't be a problem, especially if we know that we've tried hard, but that's irrelevant right now. What matters is that we care about each other and want all of us to last as long as possible. I told my mom I don't give him more than 7 to 10 years at this rate. I think that my sister would agree. But she's a thousand miles away and can't see what's happening with her own eyes. My mom comes to me for help with all of this and I don't know what to do for her. I listen, I console, I spend time with her, but I'm starting to think that soon that won't be enough. The day will come when she has to make the choice to stay with him or leave, and I think she'll choose to stay. In fact, I know so, because that's what she said last night.

I suggested that she could come live with me, and she said, "No, I can't leave your father."

I have to stop writing now because I can't see through the tears welling up in my eyes.