Life is lonely at the top...

Or at the bottom. Wherever you might be, it can get a little rough. I don't really mind the rain though. When I'm standing in it, I feel clean again.

I've been hit by a few cheap shots lately, including last night. Let's just say that any degree of betrayed trust is outweighed by embarassment. I couldn't believe the words I was hearing, nor did I want to stand there and have to answer for things which belong only in my head. I just want to stay away from that which I said all along I wouldn't want to watch. Alcohol can be a good friend, but it can also be a double edged sword. I think I made the right choice by walking away from it all while I still had some degree of both dignity and sobriety left. I left, went to a makeshift "Fortress of Solitude," and proceeded to get tanked. Made some new friends on campus too, which was pretty funny. Trying to light a cigarette while drunk with matches was entertaining enough, but funnier than that was watching someone even more drunk than myself try the same thing.

I made the best of the situation...can you really blame me for that? Nope, didn't think so.

Music makes the world go 'round. That's what I've been told. And right now, I miss my iPod because I want to be out and about in the rain, listening to everything I possibly can, since one sanctuary has now been converted into hell. I think I'll just burn myself a new CD and go for a drive. Like I said, I want to make the best of a bad situation. You really can't do anything besides that. No point in feeling sorry for yourself, but on the other hand, you can't subject yourself to shitty treatment by any means. I'm all about trying to collect what few pieces of my heart and confidence are still in tact and putting my life back together. I think it's going alright.

Smile - Lily Allen