I'm a fickle person by nature...

...or maybe it's nurture. But either way, I used to be a lot worse. This morning though, I looked out my window and let my mind wander. It hasn't been too long, but already I can tell that the feelings and memories of the past have faded just as far as they needed to. Like she says in the movie Closer, "There's a moment, there's always a moment where you can choose to do this, and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet you had one." My moment wasn't a singular event, but rather a clusterfuck of feelings that came at me in a time when I had the clarity to think through them all and process it all logically.

Hesitation. It's a tricky little bastard. Take the leap, run off the edge, and don't look back. Fuck hesitation, and take all those risks you never wanted to. I wish with all my heart that I could make some people understand certain things, then all of this would be fixed, but sometimes blood is not thicker than water. And sometimes, your best just isn't good enough.

I'd like to go down fighting though. I'm not tired, but I'm already exhausted. Does that make sense? I can stand, I can run, but my legs are falling apart. Coming out from underneath me, with nothing to stand on other than my willpower. It's enough though, it's finally enough. I said I was going to be this strong one day, and I finally am. For what it's worth, I appreciate the people who listened.

Smile, because the snow is gone for now and you can forget about you moment. I'll smile for both of us if you can't.