It's whatever you make of it...

...and at the same time, there's nothing you can do about it. Figure that one out, kid, and you'll do just fine.

"Most people have a full measure of life, and most people watch it slowly slip away. But if you can summon it all up, at one time, in one place, you can achieve something glorious." I think too much time has been wasted in the last week and a half. I made a promise to someone yesterday that I would do my best, because lately I definitely have not. The phrases that used to get me through hard times were "It's just pain," and "What are you saving it for?" I think I need to get those tattooed on me somewhere. I decided that Friday morning I'm getting one on my wrist that says "2682" to remind me that no matter how far away something is, you can get there if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I love the winter, but for running's sake, I wish it was spring already. All I want for Christmas is a new kneecap. I think running again tomorrow would be a bad idea, but when have I ever done what's best? I think I'll take the amputee's advice instead of my own; run until I can't anymore, then run some more. My brace helps a bit at least. I just hear those words in my head over and over again: if you can't run today, how long until you can't walk? And that thought makes me want to fucking fight someone. Oh well, I can always join the special Olympics if they cut my leg off.

Don't get me wrong though, because like I said, I'm better than I've been in years, and it's all thanks to knowing how to appreciate what's right in front of you, and knowing when to let go of all the bullshit. Oh, and knowing how to wait for something that potentially could be amazing, with the most incredible girl I've known in years. There's a wall between us right now because of extenuating circumstances, but it's only a matter of time before I can keep on getting to know her.

Smile for me.