Feeling different...

...is what they hoped for us for the new year. Right?

If nothing else, I learned last night that there are some things and people you can always count on, some that you know will be there when you need it, some that insult you when you're already feeling small, and some that just their voice brightens your darkest days.

28 days sober and counting. Someone wise in AA told me the other day, "It's not enough to say you don't think about drinking, you have to actively think about not drinking." I'd say that's some of the best advice I've ever gotten before and I am happy to say that no matter how bad last night was, I didn't drink. 28 days. I'm either in a treatment program or in a zombie movie.

I think I can safely move on from that part in my life. Sometimes when someone leaves a hole in your life, you try to fill it with other people, but when they left a hole beyond repair, you just need to pick yourself up and move to a new patch of land. I'm not really angry about it; in fact I don't really get mad about anything anymore these days because my worst sober days is still better than my best drunk day. I face legal trouble, jail time again, and having to figure out how to save everything else I hold dear to me. But despite all of that, I am holding on to my sobriety with both hands, to the positive changes I've made in my life, and pushing past anything or anyone that holds me back.

Today is harder than yesterday was, but I am here, alive, clean and able to look forward with hope. Thanks to everyone who helped me make it this far.